FIFTY SHADES OF CRAP... MY THOUGHTS

Here's the thing, people, I realize that I will probably get hung up from the rafters by a large member of the +35 female Christian Grey club, but I just have to comment on the inexplicable phenom that is this book.  I will say that this is not a review as I could not finish this book, I got around 1/3 in and just couldn't do it.  But before I go any further I do want to say...

YAY FOR THE AUTHOR!  Even though I personally think her book is a step below most erotica you can find in the used book store shelves, I think it is stupendous that she has become a total runaway success!  Here she is a mom of two, and she decides to write some fan fiction, and literally within weeks she is a wealthy famous author.  KUDOS TO HER!  I love it.

Now, on to the negatives.  This book is just not written well... AT ALL.  And I know most people who are obsessed with it will argue that "It's escape reading!  Just have fun with it!" Well, good for you if you can, but it is no only dreadful to read, it is chock full of complete an utter mistakes in story that pull you out of the story.

Example:  Early on in the story Anastasia (barf, nice name) is waking up from being hungover in Christian Grey's (double barf on the name) apartment.  He exits the shower in nothing but a towel, where she remarks in her head that he's got nothing on David the statue, meaning, NICE NAKED CHEST.  Then skip ahead after their first virginal romp, because before he takes her down the road of dominance and S & M he, being such a GOOD GUY, decides he has to "take care of" her virginity first, like its a surf board he has to wax down before he takes it in the big waves.  This part made me want to hurl, personally.  ANYway, after their romp she finds Mr. Billionaire playing at the piano in nothing but a pair of flannel pants and she thinks, "Gee, I have never even seen his naked chest before!"  HELLO, YES YOU DID, IT WAS ONLY ABOUT 20 PAGES AGO, MORON!

This kind of thing.

There is actually so much more I could say about how this book is thoroughly annoying and difficult to read, but I am not going to waste any more time on it.  You can visit amazon.com and read almost 1600 1 star reviews that will echo pretty much exactly my sentiments on the subject.

What I am trying to figure out is what makes THIS BOOK so popular compared to say... any other  erotic harlequin type of book?  I mean, she is selling  one every THIRTY SECONDS! And like I said, good for her, and this is not really a comment on her, she just wrote it, it's the folks that are buying it by the millions that I am directing this question to.

As I was racking my brain to try to figure it out, I thought, well, lots of people are probably buying it to satisfy their curiosity, like I did.  And some are getting sucked in and some, like me,  are not.  The hype is totally out of control which is creating a kind of reading frenzy.  As I was reading it I realized what it was that was irritating me about the writing.  It is clearly written in a YOUNG ADULT style, and BADLY, and not edited well.  It is basically a poorly written YA novel with graphic sex.  Which makes sense since a large portion of the YA market is actually women between the ages of 35 and 45.  There are hundreds of fan fic stories with more raunchy sex with Edward and Bella, or Harry and Hermoine, for example.

When I searched the interwebs for other reviews, I was kind of relieved to see other scathing reviews of 50.  

Here's my final word on the subject:  The argument that this book is escape reading and that you just have to let go of shitty writing is flimsy.  The reason is because there is PLENTY of fabulously written escape fiction out there that you don't have to use too many brain cells to enjoy.  Case in point:  The Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon.  And when I have to use TOO MANY brain cells TO READ a book because the writing is not good or the plot is full of mistakes and holes and inconsistencies then it is no longer feels like escape... it's TOO MUCH WORK.

And here's where I hoist a glass to my favourite escape reading heroes Jamie and Claire, where there is enough brilliance and heat to keep you satisfied for years!

For more reviews of this book you can visit Amazon.com